The statement “No parent should outlive their child” encapsulates the profound mental anguish and indescribable grief that follows a bereaved parent for a lifetime.
Living out that painful reality is 90-year-old Mdm Fang (pseudonym), who lost her 67-year-old daughter to Covid-19 last year. Widowed for 20 years with three children, Mdm Fang shared a tight bond with her late daughter, who had been her main caregiver.
“My daughter was incredibly kind and caring, always looking after me and actively helping others. She was also deeply involved in church. Her funeral drew people of all ages and from all walks of life, a testament to the impact she had with her kindness. I couldn’t comprehend why God would take away someone so good. I felt it should have been me instead,” shared Mdm Fang, a member of a Methodist Church.
For months, sleep eluded Mdm Fang, food lost its joy, and memories of her daughter dominated every waking moment. Tears filled her days, from dawn till dusk, and lingered into the night. “I wrestled with God, questioning why he did not take me instead,” Mdm Fang recalled, pausing to sob uncontrollably into a handkerchief.
Overwhelmed by grief after her daughter’s death, Mdm Fang spiralled into deep depression. Her incessant crying at home strained her relationship with her daughter-in-law, who was working remotely at that time. With nowhere to go, Mdm Fang sought refuge at an MWS Active Ageing Centre (AAC) in her neighbourhood.
“The staff noticed that she was showing signs of depression, crying every day and constantly expressing a desire to reunite with her late daughter,” shared MWS Senior Associate Chaplain, Sally Tan, who stepped in to offer pastoral care and counselling support to Mdm Fang after being alerted by the Centre staff. “I met with her regularly and listened to her. I also shared comforting Bible verses and we prayed together.”
While the sorrow of losing her child will last a lifetime, more than a year on, Mdm Fang is in a better place emotionally.
